so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
