I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
