then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
