Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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