i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
