We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
