Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i have two assholes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
