He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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