Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
