I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize