As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
