In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
