i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
