He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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