It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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