Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
