Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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