i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize