it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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