I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
