guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
