Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
God I need to hump something, right now.
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