This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize