So drunk its hurt
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
