imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
