dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
