someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
