I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
