I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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