her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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