At least make sure they are 18
Why
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize