Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
