I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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