Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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