I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
