Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
