Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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