I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
