can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
