This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
