My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
