Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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