She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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