just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you didnt know i had herpes?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
