Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
