Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
