Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
