i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
