sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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