so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
farters have to be the big spoon...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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