would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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