its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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