Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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