Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
