I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
