i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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