Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
