awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
