Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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