found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
