i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
