Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
