He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
