Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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