Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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