He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize