I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
